A Thanksgiving Reflection

I remember those days...

When I couldn’t wait to be a big kid so I could reach the pedals AND the ground from the seat of my bicycle, and fix my own plate at family dinners...

When I couldn’t wait to be a teenager so I could drive myself to get those last-minute sewing or food supplies for home economics without having to ask my mother... or have my own job so I could buy my own $100 jeans with holes in them from Brass Buckle...

When I couldn’t wait to have my own house to not clean, my own career, my own money, my own family, my own life...

When I couldn’t wait for the opportunity to sleep through one whole night, or never again have to manage another poop-up-the-back diaper changes...

When I couldn’t wait until my kiddos could tie their own shoes, and fix their own breakfast...

BUT...

I never really wanted my kids to be old enough to drive, or be any older than they already are.

On this Thanksgiving morning, waking up at the in-laws, I’m watching them sleep. In. Something they do on regular occasion when the opportunity presents itself. Their long legs all accordion-like on the couches, their big monster feet poking out the ends of their blankets.

When they were small, I would hide in the bathroom for refuge. Now I’m the weirdo poking my needy zombie fingers under the door so they’ll come out and play with me.

When they were small, they would bring me books to read to them. And games to play with them. And ask me for cookies. Now I follow them around with my laptop, “Here, read this clever thing I wrote.” I guilt them into playing games with me. I bake them cookies so I have an excuse to go up to their rooms.

On this Thanksgiving I am thankful. Thankful to finally be at a place in life where I am not wishing I could be anywhere else than I already am. Thankful I can savor the moment I’m in. My parents are healthy and well. My children are healthy and well. And so far as I can tell, my husband still likes me. Taxes will get paid this year and Christmas will come. And while I sure wouldn’t mind having a few of those wished-away years back, I wouldn’t wish this one away for anything in the world.